Every New Year, my friend Rob fills out a booklet to reflect on the the year passed and to think about what he wants for the upcoming year. I filled the booklet out on New Years Eve, having left my sister’s (as one of her post-op, post-birth caregivers) at 10:00 pm to spend my first NYE solo. The Year Compass (https://yearcompass.com/) was a great introspection tool, and I filled it out rigorously, to my therapist’s delight. One of the reflection points that struck me was a section dedicated to belongings. I hadn’t really thought much of it this year, but 2020 was significant in terms of my possessions.
To state the obvious, this past year was momentous globally. It might be the age-range I am in, but it seems many of my loved ones had to give up something very dear, whether it was a birth-plan, a wedding, or a dream work-abroad experience. I also have had loved ones who have lost parents and best friends to cancer, and provided end-of-life care. Having started my PhD on April 1st with plans to move to the UK, I also had to pivot. My year started off tinged with a betrayal-breakup, and was sweetened by a dream-come-true full scholarship to study sustainable development in mining. Because of the program start date, I ended up being stuck in a strange purgatory where I didn’t quite know where to go.
I was so heartbroken and alone after my breakup that I went to my home province (Saskatchewan) for a month to heal, and my cousin and his girlfriend, who are amazingly both named Jordan(e), offered to drive me back to BC, to pack my stuff, and move me half way across the country. With the pandemic, my cousin was laid off and his girlfriend was working remotely, and they had never been to Vancouver, so we hopped in the truck and drove all the way to the West Coast. I am so happy that I was with my cousin the first time he saw the ocean. He wore cowboy boots for the occasion, and marvelled at the purple starfish at Third Beach.
All week my cousins and I packed, gave away, or sold my possessions. I kept most of my books, art, and kitchen things, but sold or gave away beloved pieces of furniture. I sold my blue chair, which I bought from the hot guys at the Futon Store on Bloor Street when I lived in Toronto. My friend Christina, having had her parent’s car that day, helped me drive it to my apartment on Madison Ave. My first ‘real’ piece of furniture. I sold my couch, also purchased from the hot guys on the Futon Store on Bloor Street, and my metal shelf which sometimes housed books, and other-times held cookware. My table, my chairs, my bar, my books I could bare to part with, clothes I wore only a few times a year, and all my plant babies, all gone. I packed the last ten years of my life into the smallest U-Haul trailer my cousin could rent, and drove all the way back across the country, to where my remaining possessions now reside in my mom’s garage.
Whisked away by the river Jordan(e)s back to wide open spaces to tend to my roots before chasing dreams on the English seaside
Today I went to the garage to bring my art inside, because I didn’t want it to get damaged from the condensation in the unheated garage. I laid it all over my temporary bed, and was thankful to my mom for letting me keep all my stuff here until I move back to BC, to my cousins who volunteered to move me across the country, and for the opportunity to prune my life of all of my possessions to experience a freedom I haven’t felt in years. Of course, not all my possessions were pruned. Sometimes I go to bed beside a pile of books 5 high given to me by friends or lovers, wrapped up in the numerous blankets my sister always gets me, and now, with my art resurfaced, I can look at my favourite painting that I got from a muralist in Valparaiso. One day I’ll have walls of my own again, and I’ll be able to start from scratch, collecting pieces from hot guy Futon Stores, garage sales, high end furniture shops, and Ikea.
There is a lot of sentiment tied up in ‘stuff’. Right now though, I’m free to spring from Saskatoon or Squamish, my two Pandemic homes, when I can finally go to the UK and Ghana to chase my lifelong dreams. Right now I am simply grateful.